The Narcissistic Abuse Test; A 25 Item Self Directed Questionnaire

The Self-Assessment Narcissistic Abuse Test

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Please note this test does not diagnose anyone with narcissistic personality disorder. It is a self administered test to assess one’s own lived experience with behaviors linked to narcissistic abuse. Narcissists have a pervasive (ongoing) pattern of conflicts in interpersonal relationships. They have the majority of these symptoms, in particular a lack of empathy and intimacy. Relationships act to bolster their self esteem, personal gain and image. They have an overinflated sense of their achievements and worth, they tend to take criticism poorly, feel entitled to special treatment and are antagonistic. Narcissists can be condescending, selfish, attention seeking, manipulative, fear real intimacy and feel depressed when they are not validated. These characteristic would be chronic, spanning across many relationships and not otherwise explained by addictions or other mental health issues. 

Please indicate how frequently you have experienced the following behaviors in your relationship or interactions by selecting one of the options at the end of each statement in the Narcissistic Abuse Test: Never / Sometimes / Often / Always.

• Never (0 points): The described behaviour does not occur.
• Sometimes (1 point): The behaviour occurs occasionally but is not a regular pattern.
• Often (2 points): The behaviour happens frequently and is noticeable in your interactions.
• Always (3 points): The behaviour is constant and occurs more often than not.

1. You feel that your opinions, thoughts, or feelings are consistently dismissed or belittled. Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
2. Your boundaries are regularly ignored or violated Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
3. You are blamed for things that are not your responsibility. Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
4. You often feel anxious or fearful about displeasing the other person. Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
5. The person makes you feel like you are never “good enough.” Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
6. Your achievements or successes are criticized, minimized, or ignored. Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
7. You experience frequent mood swings from the other person that leave you feeling unstable or confused. Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
8. You are isolated from friends, family, or support networks over time. Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
9. The person often withholds affection, approval, or communication as “punishment.” Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
10. You are made to feel responsible for the other person’s emotions or bad behavior. Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
11. The person insists that their version of reality is the only truth, even when contradicted by facts. Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
12. Your privacy is invaded, such as reading your messages or monitoring your activities. Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
13. You are subject to subtle threats, intimidation, or manipulation to get their way. Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
14. Promises made by the person are frequently broken without remorse. Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
15. You are compared unfavorably to others to make you feel inferior. Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
16. Your feelings of happiness, sadness, or excitement are mocked or dismissed. Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
17. The person takes credit for your ideas, work, or efforts. Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
18. You are made to apologize or feel guilty even when you have done nothing wrong. Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
19. Conversations often become circular, never reaching resolution, leaving you feeling drained or confused. Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
20. The person shifts blame onto you when confronted about their own hurtful actions. Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
21. The person is jealous of your achievements. Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
22. The person is threatened by your loving relationships with your children, friends or family. Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
23. *The person is physically harmful, hitting or threatening violence towards you or other. Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
24. *The person is forceful about sexual encounters towards you or others. You often feel its easier to submit than say no. Never / Sometimes / Often / Always
25. *The person engages in name calling towards you or others. Never / Sometimes / Often / Always.

Rating Scale and Interpretation for the Narcissistic Abuse Test

• Never (0 points): The described behaviour does not occur.
• Sometimes (1 point): The behaviour occurs occasionally but is not a regular pattern.
• Often (2 points): The behaviour happens frequently and is noticeable in your interactions.
• Always (3 points): The behaviour is constant and occurs more often than not.

How to Interpret Your Score on the Narcissistic Abuse Test

Add up the number of points based on the numbers in the previous paragraph.

• 0–5 points: Unlikely to indicate narcissistic abuse.
• 6–10 points: Mild narcissistic abuse may be present.
• 11–20 points: Moderate narcissistic abuse may be present.
• 21+ points: Severe narcissistic abuse may be indicated.

Important Notes about the Narcissistic Abuse Test:

• Any single answer of 3 (“Always”) on any question can have a significant negative impact on your well-being and sense of self, regardless of your total score.
• For questions 21, 22, and 23: Any response other than “Never” constitutes abuse and should be taken seriously and reported even if your overall score is low. Be sure you create a safety plan for yourself. If you are experiencing this and are in Ontario, please use this link for supports. 

Use this scale to rate each statement in the questionnaire, calculate your total, and reflect on both your overall score and responses to specific questions.

After You Get Your Results of the Narcissistic Abuse Test, Next Steps and Seeking Support

Taking the step to reflect on your experiences and complete this questionnaire is an act of courage. It’s important to remember that your feelings and concerns are valid, regardless of the numbers or categories your score may fit. The next step is not one of judgment, but of care and empowerment.

If your responses or score suggest any level of narcissistic abuse, or if even a single question resonated in a way that feels distressing or familiar, consider reaching out for professional support. Therapy can provide a safe, confidential space to process your experiences, understand your emotions, and begin healing. Trained therapists understand the complexities of abuse and can offer validation, guidance, and effective strategies tailored to your needs. Seek out a therapist of your choice to support you with these experiences. 

No one deserves to feel diminished, controlled, or unsafe. Healing is not only possible, but it’s a journey you do not have to travel alone. A therapist can help you rebuild self-esteem, trust your own perceptions, and reclaim your sense of self-worth. If you are hesitant or unsure where to begin, consider speaking with a trusted healthcare provider or reaching out to local mental health organizations for recommendations. Above all, honor yourself for acknowledging what you are experiencing. Seeking help is a sign of strength, and taking even small steps—whether confiding in a friend, gathering resources, or arranging a therapy session—can be profoundly transformative. You are worthy of respect, understanding, and support on your path to safety and recovery.

About

Heather Caruso is a compassionate, skilled, and intuitive therapist offering in person sessions in Guelph ON and online therapy. She is a registered Canadian art therapist, registered psychotherapist, specializing in trauma counseling, narcissistic abuse and adults of toxic parents. She offers a unique blend of therapeutic approaches to help her clients navigate their healing journeys. Heather’s deep empathy and expertise create a safe and nurturing environment for those dealing with a mental health issue. Her areas of expertise are anxiety, depression, grief, low self esteem, stress management, trauma, PTSD and navigating big life changes. Heather offers one on one sessions for people from Ontario.

To support individuals in finding the right therapeutic path for their unique needs, she offers a free Zoom chat where people can ask questions and determine if her therapy services are a good fit for their needs. To book an appointment, click the button below.