The Toxic Parents Test
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Please circle the answer that best and honestly describes your experience for each statement: Never, Slightly, Often, or Always.
- My parent(s) criticize or belittle me, rather than encourage or support me. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- My parent(s) ignore my emotional needs or make me feel guilty for expressing them. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- My parent(s) lose their temper and yell at me over small matters. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- My parent(s) try to control my decisions, even those appropriate for my age. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- My parent(s) make me feel that their love is conditional on my behaviour or achievements. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- My parent(s) dismiss or minimize my accomplishments. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- My parent(s) blame me for their problems or emotions. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- My parent(s) invade my privacy without reason. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- My parent(s) make me feel responsible for their happiness or well-being. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- My parent(s) use guilt or manipulation to get their way. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- My parent(s) embarrass me or make fun of me in front of others. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- My parent(s) compare me unfavourably to other people. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- My parent(s) refuse to apologize or admit when they are wrong. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- My parent(s) break promises or are unreliable. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- My parent(s) discourage me from expressing my own opinions or making choices. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- My parent(s) punish me emotionally, such as through silent treatment or withdrawal. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- My parent(s) are overly critical about my appearance, friends, or interests. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- My parent(s) refuse to respect my boundaries, regardless of my age. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- My parent(s) dismiss or ignore my mental health or physical health needs. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- My parent(s) make me feel unsafe or afraid in my own home. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- *My parent(s) sexually abused me. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- *My parent(s) beat me. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- *My parent(s) failed to provide basic needs like food, shelter, affection, school or health care. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
- *My parent(s) would call me names and belittle me. (Never / Slightly / Often / Always)
Scoring Key for the Toxic Parents Test
Instructions for Interpreting Responses to the Toxic Parents Test
Scoring System for the Toxic Parents Test
- Never: 0 points
- Slightly: 1 point
- Often: 2 points
- Always: 3 points
Calculating the Total Score of the Toxic Parents Test
- Add the points for each response to all the questions.
- The questionnaire contains 24 items, so the possible total score ranges from 0 to 72.
Interpreting the Total Score of the Toxic Parents Test
Note about the Toxic Parents Test Score: Any score in one question answer of 2 or 3 may significantly have impacted a person negatively, so support could be of benefit to process these negative life experiences.
Any score other than never on questions 21 to 24 are indicative of abuse. Please do not minimize this, be sure you are safe and consider reporting these behaviors to the appropriate authorities.
This scoring key is provided for reflection and informational purposes. For concerns of high scores, consider consulting a mental health professional of your choice to help you process your lived experience. Scores of 3 and up may indicate a need for support, based on how it impacted you, if any one negative behaviour has stuck with you.
- 0–2: Minimal to no negative parental behaviours reported
- 3–12: Mild presence of a few negative behaviors or at least one regular negative parental behaviour
- 13–20: Frequent presence of many negative parental behaviours
- 21 plus: Severe persistent negative parental behaviours
About
The creator of this inventory is Heather Caruso a registered Canadian art therapist and registered psychotherapist specializing in trauma counseling, narcissistic abuse and adults of toxic parents. These questions point out common dysfunctional and unhelpful behaviours that therapists often see in parents of adult children struggling to make sense of their upbringing. Children of parents with these traits may struggle with depression, anxiety, low self esteem, distorted core beliefs, trauma, and/or PTSD. Heather offers a unique blend of therapeutic approaches to help her clients navigate their mental wellness. Heather offers one on one sessions for people from Ontario. To support individuals in finding the right therapeutic path for their unique needs, she offers a free Zoom chat where people can ask questions and determine if her therapy services are a good fit for their needs. To book an appointment, click the button below.